I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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