she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
