At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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