I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize