im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize