Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
