He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
