youre lurking in front of me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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