My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
