i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Mom said you looked used
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
