I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
