we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
