Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
