HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
