I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
