It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
