you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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