At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
