Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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