I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
