absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
