OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize