then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
