I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
