To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
