I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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