Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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