i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
