Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
