walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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