I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
