First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize