im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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