he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
