Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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