they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
