Someone shit on the floor
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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