I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
