I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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