i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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