i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
