I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
