How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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