Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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