it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
