You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
