Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
