I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
