halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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