have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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