i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
