honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
