Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
