I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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