At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
