who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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