your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
