Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
