Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
