Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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