I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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