Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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