As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
