What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
