with your own penis?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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