what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
